Do you ever lose your shit? Become unreasonable or over dramatic and over the top? Do you act out your irritability and frustration knowingly to those around you? Like the world has just dealt you the worst hand and it’s your divine right to just wallow in it?
This my conscious friends… is what I like to call a TANTRUM! Amazingly enough you don’t have to be under four foot tall to experience a tantrum and it can strike at any stage in ones life. Once we mature however these tantrums are renamed and somehow seem to be more acceptable, “she’s just having a bad day,” or “something’s got under your skin hasn’t it,” but don’t be fooled by its deceiving traits, it’s without a doubt still a TANTRUM.
Now don’t get me wrong, tantrums aren’t all bad. For children, they have yet learnt how to express their feelings and emotions. They get frustrated and easily overwhelmed. With no knowledge and experience on how to handle all of these emotions, it all floods out of them like an uncontrollable fit of rage. This is part of their learning and development. Yes, a trying time for any parent but fundamental in a child’s growth. Our roll here is to support and nurture them during these testing times.
Adult tantrums however, these are a different story, and yes we can say that we’re still learning, growing and expanding; nevertheless as parents it’s our role to set an example of appropriate behavior to our children. When we feel overwhelmed, frustrated and angry we need to remember two important things:
- Never take your frustration out on your children.
When your feeling frustrated and angry how easy is it to snap at your children, change your tone, raise your voice, bark orders and lose your cool with them? If we’re having a tantrum we must always always remember to NEVER take it out on our children.
Young children don’t understand that we are merely frustrated at ourselves or the world and not them. They don’t understand that you have lost your highflying vibration and have been unable to control the negative momentum this shift has created.
When you take your frustration out on your children they take it personally. They think that they have physically done something wrong. “Mummy or Daddy is angry with me”, “I’ve been a bad child,” or “I’m a disappointment.” They then look at themselves and think “what have I done?”
- Children mirror our behaviour.
If they see us getting frustrated and losing our cool they are going to see this as an acceptable way to behave. As they grown and experience these same emotions they will recall your behaviour and act in the exact same way. Most behaviours are learnt; is your behaviour a behaviour you want your child to copy?
The next time you feel yourself getting worked up like you are going to lose your composure, always remember to never take it out on your children, and to choose healthy ways to express it…. after all, your children are watching.
Amy Shayanna xx